


is there somewhere

by starflowerlester (orphan_account)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I literally have no idea what im doing, M/M, Song Lyrics, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-10-23 18:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10724400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/starflowerlester
Summary: yuriyuu oneshot (may be a two shot?)yuri and yuuri are hangin out in the hotel room, car, onsen, etc. (PSA NOTHING DIRTY HAPPENS)based loosely off the song "is there somewhere" by halseyin this universe, romantic viktuuri is not a thing. its platonic viktuuri basically**i rated this teen and up just in case but it could be general audiences as long as youre not like 8**





	1. Chapter 1

You danced around our hotel room in those ugly tube socks. The way you danced was in contrast to your choice of footwear. Beautiful, like your body was making music instead of that cheap tinny speaker. You were playing the stupid free skate song, "Yuri on Ice". But you made the music work for you, not the other way around like some of the other skaters. Like JJ...or Viktor. They couldn't even get close to how good you looked. How fluid your motions were. How at first, your expression was strained, your moves awkward, but later you loosened up. It was like you forgot I was there, and you just let yourself go. By the second repeat of the song, I was in utter shock and awe. You didn't dance like this on the ice. You didn't dance like this at the banquet. You didn't dance like this when we played with those sparklers by the bonfire with Viktor in Hasetsu. This was something different entirely. It felt more intimate, more private. Like this was something you showed only to those lucky, or important, enough. You made the most of our small hotel room, spinning, jumping, even getting on top of the bed. Sometimes it looked like you were gliding, even flying. 

All in all, even I would call it beautiful. I probably fell in love right there. But I couldn't be sure, so I had to deny myself the pleasure of loving you.

I really wanted to love you, but I couldn't.

Because you were eight years older than me.

Because Viktor loved you too, no matter how often you turned a blind eye to it.

Because I just couldn't.

But I really, really wanted to.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

We were driving on the long roads of St. Petersburg. I had a fight with my grandpa (in russian, of course) about you staying here. So I told you to get the car.  _What car?_ you asked.  _The one that's not my grandpa's!_ I shot back.  _Let me get my sweater and I'll be right down, katsudon._  I was fighting tears. Why couldn't Grandpa just let you stay here? I wanted to show you my room. Our kitchen that always smelled like rice. The green fake leather couch that was fifty years old and cracked when you sat in it. The guest bedroom that we converted into a small dance studio, just for me to practice in. I wanted to see you dance again, this time in a place meant for dancing. But I had to settle for driving. We passed my practice rink, the closest Japanese restaurant, and the cemetery.

_That's where my parents are buried_ _,_ I said carelessly while passing the cemetery.

_They died?_

_Duh, katsudon! Where else would they have gone?_ I exclaimed.

_Oh, uh, well...when did they die?_

_When I was, like, 3. It doesn't matter. I have Grandpa anyway,_  I mumbled, pulling my knees up to my chest.

_Take the next left turn_ _,_ I said, extending my legs so they rested on the dashboard.

_Why, is there somewhere you want to go?_ you said. 

_No. I just want to get away. Also, you can just turn wherever it's legal. I don't care, let's just get away,_ I said. I just wanted to drive away from here.

I closed my eyes as you made the left turn. The calming hum of the engine lulled me to sleep. I had a long nap. Peaceful, dreamless sleep.

Maybe an hour later, I woke up to an unexpected speed bump. I tried to fall back asleep. Before I closed my eyes, I heard you say something. 

_Yuri?_ I didn't respond. I was turned away from you, so I could have my eyes open without you noticing.

_Okay, you're asleep. That's good, because I don't think I could have told you this while you're awake._ Wow. Okay. Let's hear it.

_I think I have a crush on you, Yuri._

What the heck?

_I just, well, I don't know since when. But it's like, just a feeling you have, you know? The thing that happens when you like someone. You always want to be near them. You only want to talk to them. You can be yourself with no...well, a little judgement._ You chuckled. That one pure sound warmed the air in the freezing cold car. Well, at least it did for me.

_I just really hope you're not awake right now. That would be pretty embarrassing. I'm not even sure about it yet, you know? But I just have a feeling that if I don't like you already, I will in the future. I probably do now, though. I just don't know._

I fake slept for exactly six minutes and thirty eight seconds after the Great Confession. I looked outside at a highway sign, then your eyes. They shone and glimmered like the lights outside.

_Pull into some kind of parking lot_ _,_ I said.

_Oh! Yurio, you're awake...okay, sure, I guess._ you said, flustered. I would guess that you were worried about if I heard your confession or not.

You drove for a while until you spotted a beach. The beach was closed, but the lot wasn't. You pulled into a spot. Not that hard to do, since it was absolutely deserted. Makes sense. It was 1:30 am.

_Okay, we're here. What did you need from a parking lot?_

_Could you please hand me a cigarette?_

_Yurio, you're underage!_

_Fight me, pig._

_Okay, fine. Whatever._ You reach into your jacket pocket for the pack of cigarettes you keep for when you have an anxiety attack.

_Could you light it for me? I, uh, don't know how..._ It was embarrassing, I admit. But I didn't want to burn myself or anything.

_This guy,_ you said under your breath. You shook your head and laughed while lighting the cigarette.

You passed it to me and lit one for yourself.

_I thought you didn't smoke unless you had an attack?_ I asked.

_Yeah, but you're special, so I can do it with you,_ you laughed. Your words made my heart flutter and my stomach do a quad flip.

_Okay, katsudon,_ I said. I tried to hide the quickly forming blush on my cheeks.

_Aw, you're blushing! How cute, Yurio!_ you said. Soon my entire face was red.

_Shut up, that's not my name!_ I shouted, not really angry. This only made you laugh harder.

Before I had any idea what was happening, I felt your soft hair tickling my cheeks.

_You're quite lovely, Yurio,_ you said quietly, your head on my shoulder.

I leaned back into the seat.

_Katsudon, I, well, I heard you._ I said. I tried to keep a gentle tone so I wouldn't scare you off of my shoulder. I liked the warmth of your head resting on me.

_Heard me what?_ You pressed your head further into my shoulder.

_Heard you say...that. That you, uh..._

_Liked you?_

_Yeah._

_Okay._

_Okay._


	2. is there somewhere pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TO CLEAR UP STUFF:: "you" is addressing Katsuki Yuuri, but you can read this as a yuri p x reader if you want. That's just not how I intended it to be read. :)

_Okay. That's okay._

_Okay? Stupid katsudon. This will change stuff, you know?_

_Yeah. But can it not? Can we please stay the same?_ Your voice trembled at the end of your sentence.

 _Uh, we can try? I guess..._ This would change everything, and nothing.

 _Yeah. Let's, um, drive back now._ You went quiet and your lips started trembling.

 _Listen, katsudon, it'll be okay. I promise._ I rested my hand on your shoulder.

_It's okay._

 

Now I'm waking up somewhere that isn't the car. I grasp the white sheets beneath my fingers. It's my bed. 

 _Uh, Yuuri?_ I call. I roll over in bed but hit a warm object. On closer inspection, it isn't an object, but is skin. Your skin.

Okay. You're in my bed.

 _Katsudon!_ I suddenly feel defensive, for almost no reason. Maybe you judged my collection of stuffed animals? What about my awfully messy room? What about...the posters?

Oh, shit.

The posters. I have an extensive collection of Katsuki Yuuri posters in my room.

I guess it's not as embarrassing as your collection of Viktor posters?

Who am I kidding. It's much, much worse. 

 _Kat. Su. Don. WAKE UP!_ I shout. _You're going to miss my special poached eggs if you don't._

 _Nnngh.._ you groan. I run over to you and shove you off the bed.

 _That'll teach you, you lazy сука!_ I shout triumphantly.

You roll over onto your back. Your hair falls over your face and eyes, g;owing as it reflects the bright sunlight from the window. My heart skips a beat for probably no reason.

 _Come. Onnnnn._ I hate the whine in my voice. Hastily, I take your hand and drag you halfway through the door. You're too heavy so I leave you in the middle of the room. I don't know what propels me to do this, but I don't let go of your hand. I like the soft feeling of your warm hand in mine. It's like...like your warmth could cure my coldness. I have the sudden urge to, uh...

 _Yurio~_ you say sleepily. Fuck. You're really cute. Double fuck. Did I just think you were cute? What is wrong with me?

 _I'm going to go make breakfast. You can come if you want._ I mutter, dropping your hand like a fucking hot potato. What just came over me?

 _I'm just gonna change, okay Yura~~_ you say sweetly. Maybe it's the diminutive, maybe it's your tone, maybe it's just morning hormones, but I really really want to kiss you. And it's by far the stupidest idea I've ever had.

As I walk downstairs, I find myself almost wishing that we could return to the night life. Driving pointlessly, smoking in parking lots, sweet confessions. Wait. Not sweet. I hate that confession. You and I are just friends. Nothing more. We couldn't be anything more. 

 _Yuratchka, I need to explain myself. I din't want Yuuri to stay because, well, this is a rickety old house. Yuuri is a sweet boy, he welcomed you so nicely to his onsen, and I just don't want to, well, embarrass you with this small house._ Grandpa says, all in a rush. His face reads apologetic, ashamed, and a little...hurt?

 _I hope you had a nice night driving away yesterday._ His eyes' natural twinkle returns and he winks.

 _Grandpa! We didn't do anything like...that,_ I say, flushing red.  _We are just friends._

 _With benefits,_ I hear him mutter under his breath.

 _I heard that!_ I say, lightly patting his back. 

 _Let me make breakfast for you boys,_ Grandpa says.

 _If you insist,_ I grumble.  _Also, I'm sure Yuuri is fine with the house. I'm not embarrassed at all, I swear._

Just then, I hear your footsteps on the stairs. I turn and see you, perfectly dressed with no sign of the sleepy man from a few minutes ago.

 _Yuuri!_ I say, too excitedly. What the hell has come over me? Why does my heart skip a beat when I see you? Why do I always find myself longing for you when you're not around?

 _Hey Yurio! Good morning, uh, Yurio's grandpa?_ you say, your cheeks reddening. It's almost...endearing. Almost, goddammit.

 _Oh, good morning, Yuuri! Breakfast will be up in just a few minutes~_ Grandpa calls cheerfully. You slide into the chair next to me and your shoulder bumps into mine. My face automatically goes red at your slightest touch. Seriously, what is going on? I didn't act like this before the, well, confession.

 _Breakfast's up!_ Grandpa carries three plates of eggs benedict to the table and places one at each table mat.

 _Oh my god, this is delicious!_ You close your eyes in bliss. A dusting of pink covers your cheeks. I have an instinctual urge to, uh...

 _Yeah, isn't it?_ I burst out. There was no way I was going to finish that thought.

I look over at you and see that you have finished your eggs. I finish up quickly and take both plates to the sink to wash.

 _Aw, Yuratchka, you don't have to do that. Go to your room with Yuuri, help him unpack. I'll take care of everything._ Grandpa says slyly, winking almost microscopically at me.

 _Fine, Grandpa,_ I say, shooting him an accusatory look. He only smiles in return. I jog up the stairs with you following in quick succession.

I throw myself on the bed, my shirt riding up a little. I don't think anything of it. I find you staring at me and I'm instantly self-conscious. What the actual fuck, it's just Katsuki Yuuri. But he isn't "just" Wait. He is. That's how it's supposed to be. But right now, nothing is how it's supposed to be.

You climb onto the bed, laying down next to me. You bury your face into the crook of my neck.

A voice in my head says that this is right where it begins.

 _What...what are you doing?_ I say quietly. The aforementioned part of my brain wants it to stay this way, or escalate. I try and try to get rid of that part of my brain, but it stubbornly refuses. and stays right where it is. It slowly takes over my entire scope of thinking, no matter how hard I try to squash it down.

Before I know what I'm doing, my hand rests on your cheek. I use my fingertips to tilt your head up. Everything past that point goes into slow motion. I move my head down to you. I feel my lips touch yours, surprisingly gentle and soft. I didn't know I could be gentle. I open my eyes, surprised to find that they were closed in the first place. I meet eyes with you. Your eyes are wide open but the close slowly. A bright red blush takes over your face as you lean into my lips and return the kiss. I shut my eyes again and let pure bliss take over all my senses. I put my hand at the back of your head and pull you closer. You put your hand on my waist and the very touch fills my face with a hundred or so shades of red. This can't possibly get more intimate. This is what I think until you pull me closer and I suddenly wish for more. I pull you so close that soon there is no space between us but I want more, more. I want to strip all the layers between us, let...this, whatever this is, take over and fill every sense, every feeling. This is so wrong, but so right at the same time. Moments seem like hours. After an intense minute, none of us pull away. We just kind of rest with our lips touching. I finally pull away.

 _Wow,_ I say, breathless. I thread my fingers through yours and smile.

 _Yeah, wow._ You are just as out of breath as I am.  _Why did you do it? Not that I'm angry..._ you flush an even brighter red.

 _I just, well, I don't really know. I just knew I had to._ I say uncertainly.  _But you better know that if we let this, uh, thing grow, we have to stay separate people. None of that sappy "you complete me" crap, okay?_

 _Okay,_ you say. You squeeze my hand.  _I really want to have this thing, you know?_

 _Yeah, me too._ I say as defiantly as I can. I don't want to be one of those hopeless romantics. I'm trying not to show that I don't want to let this thing go. I want you so bad, but you can't know that. Not yet. I want you to feel it as well. Then I can tell you. Leaving unrequited feelings out in the open is like suntanning with no skin. Painful and no positive outcome. I just hope we can find some kind of middle ground. If there's somewhere you can meet me, in this dark universe of my own insecurities and failures. If you can come out of your shell of anxiety and pressure buildup. That would be, well, wonderful. We would be everything we'd ever need.

I move my hand up and clutch your arm tight, like a stairway railing. You smile that special Yuuri smile, clutching my brain and easing my ailing.

 _Thank you, Yuuri,_ I say quietly, slipping my arm around you and pulling you into a tight hug.

 _For what?_ you say, kissing the tip of my head. It takes all my willpower not to melt at that single gesture.

 _For, well, not rejecting me._ My voice lowers unintentionally at the end of my sentence.

 _Why would I, Yura?_ You pull me along with you to sit up. You take my hands into yours and kiss both.

 _You're so lovely,_ you move your lips up to my cheeks and kiss each one.

 _You're so caring, even when you insist you're not,_ your lips graze my nose.

 _And I absolutely adore you,_ you say, kissing my forehead gently but firmly. That's when I know I'm head over heels and there's no getting back up.

 _Me too, you adorable katsudork,_ I say, giggling and kissing you again. Sweet as honey and soft as my cat's fur, your lips almost merge with mine when we can't get any closer. You pull away and rest your forehead on mine.

 _I...I think I love you, Yuri._ you say shyly, biting your bottom lip.

 _Listen up, сука, I love you too. Okay? Don't forget, ever._ I say, surprising myself. I didn't know I loved him until I did. That doesn't make sense, but nothing really does, so it's okay. I clasp both of your hands in mine and drag the tip of my nose on the bridge of yours.

 

_I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoooooooo
> 
> 2/3 way done!
> 
> im going to finish it up next week probably
> 
> also why is "double fuck" my new favorite phrase?
> 
> *** also the only stuff i post here is bakayuri/yuriyuu so im here for all your rarepair needs


	3. is there somewhere pt 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ughhhhhh i finally finished it omgggg
> 
> sorry if this is crap im just trying to upload every day im super sorry ok
> 
> the yuruuri theme today is angst: breakup/infidelity/unrequited love (im not using the last one obviously)
> 
> I DONT CARE ABOUT GEOGRAPHY YALL JUST READ AND FEEL THE FEELS
> 
> ill probably post an alternate ending after yuruuri week bc i want my babies to be happy
> 
> enjoy :))

Bright sunlight filters through the thin blinds. I bury my face between your neck and shoulder and squeeze my eyes shut. You rustle in the sheets, turning away from me. I find this strange. Weren't we, uh, doing stuff yesterday? Anyway, whatever it was, it just started yesterday. I shouldn't blame you if you're a bit uncomfortable. It's fine.

I turn away from you. It doesn't even matter. Didn't I promise myself that I wouldn't get too attached?

Soon, I'm asleep.

\--

I wake up to the dull scratching of pencil on paper. I open my eyes slowly to find you out of bed and writing at my desk. I sit up, rubbing at my bleary eyes.

_What are you doing, Yuuri?_

You shut the notebook quickly and blush.  _Nothing. I'm, uh, just going to get ready, okay?_ You smile warmly at me, but it seems forced.

 _Yeah, sure. I'll join you in a little bit, okay?_ I say. I smile back at you, but you've already left the room.

I push the sheets to the side and get out of bed, stepping towards the journal. I hear the loud rush of water from the shower, which means I have a bit of time. I open the journal to find . . . poems?

Badly written poems . . . about me?

It was obviously about me (blond hair, "striking" blue eyes) but these were . . .  _ **love poems?**_

I flipped to the first page and checked the date.  _ **1 year ago.**_ He liked me for that long?

I sit at the desk and read the poems. They are extremely bad, super cheesy, but somehow endearing. 

As I finish reading the last one, I hear the water shut off.  _Shit._ I quickly shut the notebook and get back in bed. But Yuuri doesn't come out.

Through the door, I hear voices. Yuuri's voice and one more. A girl's.

It definitely wasn't Mrs. Katsuki or Mari. Their voices were different. This one was high-pitched and annoying as hell.

 _Aw, Yuuri, you're so sweet! I love you, you know? When with the other Yuri stop taking you away from me? You're always going on and on about him. He must be your bestest buddy, right? Apart from me, of course!_ The girl's incessant rambling continues, but I barely heard anything after  _I love you, you know?_.

Did Yuuri have a girlfriend?

Rage took over all my senses. I was itching to get up, run, run away. But I stayed. I had to hear Yuuri's reply. Maybe it's just . . . one of the triplets! Right. They had the same annoying voices and were practically his cousins. Maybe it was Loop. She was always Yuuri's favorite . . .

My stream of thought is cut off by Yuuri's reply.

_Yeah, I love you too! How are the triplets doing? I know that it's your first babysitting job, they must be a handful . . ._

_\--_

I can barely control myself. I grab the journal and any pencils I can find. Not caring about the sweet smell of pancakes, I rush out of the door.

I jump into my grandpa's rickety car and gun it out on the deserted roads. I pull into a parking lot and let myself cry.

I haven't done that in years.

My face turns blotchy red and tear-stained. I open the journal carefully, staining it with tears rolling in waves down my face.

I rip the pages out of the journal, one by one. I shove them under the floor protector carpet things. I snap the pencil and throw it out the window. It's strange how that makes me feel slightly better.

Then, I start up the car again.

\--

Once I've arrived at the beach, I race down to the ocean. I hurl the journal into the ocean.

I crumple to the ground, too weak to stand up.

It seems like there are more tears than water in the ocean now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> author confession time: i cannot write an omegaverse. i dont love reading them either, unless theyre veryyy well written. not trying to offendd anyone, i love you all <3
> 
> while i was writing this i was listening to when he sees me which it the bEST SONG EVER FITE ME


End file.
